Better Son or Daughter

15 Jul

Oh Lord, I was on a high this week. And by high, I mean finally feeling normal. Yippee!

And then, two days later, I’m back down.

Yippee.

I would really love to be out of this- to feel normal, happy, proud. Oh, and I’d love to look at myself and see someone who is smiling rather than looking like the Ghost of Christmas past.

If you can believe it, I spent so much of yesterday just staring at nothing with no thoughts in my head. I spoke more words to the man on the L asking me about the book I’m reading (Last of the Mohicans) than actually communicating with anyone else.

Today, well, it’s no different. I feel, uh, better. But I seriously think it’s because I’ve spent much of the day planning for my niece’s visit and trying to find Alex’s 1st birthday gift online. Seriously, how can you not smile when looking at adorable babies in cute outfits?

Anyways, B sent me this song yesterday while I was in the thick of things, and it’s been stuck in my head ever since. It eerily sums up exactly what is going through my head.:

Oh, and I ran 4 miles yesterday. I should throw that in someplace, so why not here? 4 miles is a pretty easy undertaking, but I ran it after work yesterday. I usually do all of my runs in the morning, before 8am, so there was a huge difference. I obviously felt more self conscious with the added amount of people on the trail. I guess there was more pressure to get through my intervals without looking like I’m about to fall apart or die of heat exhaustion.

Only 3 days away from my tune up 10K- or as my runner friends are calling it, RunHades 10K. I had really wanted to pull a PR (personal record), but with the race not starting till 7:30 and the temps as it is, I’m going to stick with just finishing as my goal. 

This is a great test to see how I will do in the heat with my half marathon. Only 4 weeks out! I’m feeling more and more confident as well as freaked out. My motivation is at a high with my training, but to make sure that I keep on running after I cross the finish line, I’ve decided to pay myself. For every mile I run, I’m giving myself a dollar and doubling it if it’s a race. For July, I’ve already deposited about $21.50. Cha-ching!

Anyways, have a happy and healthy weekend. I’ll be back, I’m sure, with a race recap on Sunday night or Monday.

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